I always enjoy the cliche that the most beautiful things in the world can be just as deadly. Likewise I am fond of the stories that true beauty is often hidden and it takes a great mission, overcoming insurmountable odds to discover what you wanted was always there.
The reason I like these stories is because I am waiting for this journey of success to take off. I have gone through the struggle and I think I am fucking ready to see the reward that I fucking over looked and it better not be this fucking blog. Dont get me wrong I love this free space where I can drop the mother fucking F-bomb whenever the fuck I fucking want to but come on. It’s not like my ultimate ambition in life is to be some washed up never was drinking whiskey and coffee so much that I can’t tell if I’m fucking awake or asleep most hours of the day.
Nah, not for me.
I really want to do more interviews and it’s time I put another book out there. A real fucking book. A book for me. Not some stupid piece of shit I threw together just cause. I need this to actually fucking happen.
So that’s why Im back on my grind. Look at me blogging most days of the week even if it’s just coming on here to spout off ridiculous fuckery. I’ve been seeing some hilarious shit all over the internet. So much fucking twitter beef going back and forth you wouldn’t believe. I’ve also seen some writers I know blowing up. I mean what the fuck. Gold is getting his name out there left right and center meanwhile I’m over here jerking off a keyboard. I love the guy but shit pass some of that success my way man. Put it on the rocks while you’re at it.
The world is always changing and sometimes I feel like I’m hovering barely an inch off the ground. It’s like I’m the only one not moving while everyone else I know is flying up and down trying to bounce into some successful trajectory. They say what goes up will always come down, but what happens if you hover around mediocrity for a few decades. Do you even die or just stop existing? In order to die don’t you have to be remembered? Don’t you have to be validated like a wikipedia page or twitter profile by someone at the bar saying “Did you hear so and so died?”
If not, then you’re not dead, you’re just not there and will never be there.