So the official release date for the Tinder Diaries has been announced. Earl of Plaid will publish the dating anthology on Friday October 9th. As promised, Earl of Plaid published a one story teaser of the book. The story titled “Grindr Grindr Pants on Fire,” can be found on their home page www.earlofplaid.com. I also am publishing the preview to the anthology below. It is fucking hysterical! So you better enjoy it. I almost pissed my self from laughing. I’m still cramped up from it:
Grindr Grindr Pants on Fire
I have honestly hated Grindr from the moment I downloaded it. For starters too many men don’t even put real pictures up. They have like a lacrosse stick and their bed in their profile and they just ask if you want to meet up. I get it, not everyone has fully come to terms with who they are and it takes some time, but it can get annoying. Especially because then the guys who do actually put pictures up either photoshopped the bejesus out of it or used a picture from like five years ago!
Anyway, I was about to give up on this stupid app, (side note, I still have it. I just can’t get rid of it.) when I started talking to Grant. And there was like a real connection. He asked if I wanted to meet up for a drink at this little dive bar off campus and of course I was interested. Even if he didn’t look exactly like his pictures there was no way he could fake that smile. I mean those teeth were WHITE!
I was really surprised when I saw him walk through the door because he actually looked exactly like his picture. I was not expecting it at all. Things started off great. He was really down to earth and a total jock but he wanted to finish school and become a Vet. I mean this guy was coming across as a rock star.
We were both three drinks in and I was starting to feel a nice little buzz when he leaned over and asked if I wanted to “get outta here.” I of course nodded and followed him back to campus. It was a short walk and I kept fighting the urge to reach out and grab his hand. We finally reached his apartment. It was huge. We plopped down on the couch when his phone started ringing. I didn’t pay any attention until I he said “shit!”
He hung up the phone, led me to his room and opened his closet. I was really confused and almost scared when he told me I had to hide out in there for a second. He said he would explain everything later and kissed my cheek. I was not happy, but honestly that kiss made me really want another so I did as he asked and cuddled under a pile of his sweaters. I could see out of the closet through the slits in the door so I saw this little 5 foot nothing girl walk through the door and she looked PISSED! She got right up in his face and jabbed her finger into his chest holding her phone out in his face shouting “we need to talk right now!”
Grant held his hands up in the air and did not say much so this girl continued. As soon as I heard her say the words “cheating,” I knew what was up. Not only was this fool about to cheat on his girlfriend with me, apparently he had hooked up with her best friend and her little (cause the girl was in a sorority.) Grant tried explaining and tried giving her a hug but she slipped away and demanded he not touch her.
It was really awkward and I was beginning to feel hot in the closet. Anyway, what really started making me mad was this girl was actually starting to forgive this clown. I don’t know what he could’ve said to smooth things over, I guess this guy has a magic tongue or something. He might be Loki because that’s an impressive web of fuck ups to talk yourself out of. But I really did not want him to get off the hook. I mean this girl obviously deserved better. So when I saw them kiss I stood up and marched out of the closet, into the kitchen and said I didn’t plan on calling him again.