Yes it finally fucking happened. I needed to focus on perfecting this language so I am writing the most difficult thing in the fucking world: Short Stories. They take so much fucking effort. Every fucking syllable needs to be reshaped to fit the narrative perfectly or you’ll produce a sloppy piece of fucking shit.

The novel is the ultimate prize in literature cause you can be clumsy as fuck with it. I am working on two novels right now, no stress at all. As long as there aren’t any fucking typos or grotesque grammar issues, people might actually care enough about the work to fucking defend it. But short stories? Those are monsters. They can kill you faster than a cyanide tablet.

Don’t fall for the length. The shorter text just means a higher percentage of the words have to actually be good. And don’t confuse good with difficult. I am so annoyed with these pretentious fuckwads who publish short stories that have words taken from a random page in the dictionary. That’s how it reads. Like the author fucking opened a random page and fit the most difficult word they could find into a sentence just to sound smarter than they actually are.

Aren’t phony stories the most annoying thing to fucking read? I like to keep it a hundred. If you are trying to stroke your lexicon cock in my face I will slap your testicles until they’re black and blue. I know writing is a competitive game but you picked it. No one holds a gun to your head and tells you to be a fucking author. That makes no sense at all. If someone were trying to hijack your future they would push you towards more consistent fucking money.

Just be true to yourself. Write a plot you think is cool and tell the story, don’t fucking force it. I support pen names, and if your pen name has a different personality than your every day persona then roll with it. But if you’re a pretentious douche I’m gonna call you out on it.


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